Submitted by PUDRYR
My fellow bloggers,
The Coming General Election is going to be the most keenly contested election in Barbados’ 50 years of Independence which some might read The Greatest Teifing and Corruption and Bribes fiasco BIM has ever seen.
De Ole man suspects that, if that holds true, that there will be the customary? bribes, BEFORE AND ON, Election Day though at a level and quantum that exceeds what transpired the last 2 general elections.
Votes are going to be on a “floating scale” and will cost between $100 to $500 for the common man in the street and will peak at $5,000 for *** and “People of Influence” .
I will now break down the elements of the title of this blog.
Let me first start with that BRIBING – The bribing will take on a new modality and will be effected though “proxies”
Traditionally it used to be the corrupt politician and his corrupt sidekick, (an oxymoron to be sure, for that is like saying a crooked lawyer) anyway that aside said, it was the polietrickian who had the money to dole out to the equally corrupt? voter during the election.
I meant to write “opportunistic” voter but I had already hit the enter button and was on this line.
That ole practice presents and issue which, during this upcoming election, is best represented by the word ”distancing”
These corrupt politicians, mindful of the intense scrutiny that will be occurring this time around, DO NOT WANT TO BE SEEN, read caught by the many smart phones and voice recording devices that are going to be out there on the day of the Election.
So, through their “proxies”, these teifing Politicians, read the Democratic Lying Party, (A Hypothetical Political Party in Barbados) will be using intermediaries and actively practicing “plausible deniability” should any of their agents get caught.
Let the ole man explain how this will work in practice.
Say Stinkliar (a hypothetical politician) is losing in St. Michael West Central (AS HE WILL) he will feel that if he sends a few $500 packages to the people who have not voted, it will change the outcome of the Election and he will regain his seat.
(BUT WUNNA DUN KNOW DAT “NOT ONE EFFING SEAT FOR THE DLP” is going to be the order of the day)
But let us say that Stinkliar will still want to keep the various perks (i) travel 1st class (ii) be responsible for all FDI in the island and (iii) his government issued vehicle, a hypothetical Audi Q0.007 (I wonder if I got the decimal point correct?).
Now suppose that (a) Stinkliar cant walk too far given a hypothetical “condition” he has and (b) it would not be wise for him to be caught bribing his electorate, there will be a need for “proxies” or “money menses” in between (not to be confused with inbetweeners)
It is going to be be very easy to identify the money menses by
(a) *** de ole man ent sharing that bit of information because I ent get paid yet for dese services I am providing here for free heheheheheheheh
(b) ***** and
(c) all de vehicles dat going be around him and de security to protect de money.
Needless to say dese money men going be seeking pokkerts so wherever they are dere will be a bevy of young tings, so observers can be assured dat de proxies will also be there.
Now ammmmmm a smart Attorney General would also ****** but given that Nitwit (this is a hypothetical name used for the purpose of this blog) is also going to lost his seat that will be a moot exercise.
The counter that Mugabe (also a hypothetical character) should employ is *** but since dem ent pay de ole man nuffing YET i ent saying dat neider
Disruption of the Proxies can be effected via 3 means which de ole man will not share becausing dem ent pay de ole man nuffing YET
2.Other Issues that will be employed in this Upcoming Election will be ID falsification
3.Inserting “Final Voters” lists late in the exercise so that the opposition does not get time to ground-truth the names on those lists
4.Purposely Allocating Constituencies for Permitted Voting to further confuse who is allowed to vote where at the 11th hour
5.Purposed Spoiling of Opposing Vote Ballots and
6.Large Scale ”Ballot Substitutions“ read ballot box irregularities
This hypothetical Blog is submitted so that academics among you would be able to comment on the subject matter and does not seek to impugn any characters, political parties, their supporters, funding factions, Electoral Agencies or others e.g. Paling Cocks or Chickens
It should make for some interesting discussion and is not meant to detract from the much more important US Elections heheheheheheh
Nobody in this blog, and no institution or corporation is based upon an actual person or outfit on Earth, Mars maybe but not Earth. De Ole Man wants wunna to know that any resemblace to persons or institutions living dead and more than likely “the walking dead” is purely coincidental or a figment of your fertile imaginations”