barbados_parliamentarians_2013

Bribes, Teifing and Corruption – Barbados’ Next General Election?

Submitted by PUDRYR
votebribing

Created by PUDRYR

My fellow bloggers,

The Coming General Election is going to be the most keenly contested election in Barbados’ 50 years of Independence which some might read The Greatest Teifing and Corruption and Bribes fiasco BIM has ever seen.

De Ole man suspects that, if that holds true, that there will be the customary? bribes, BEFORE AND ON, Election Day though at a level and quantum that exceeds what transpired the last 2 general elections.

Votes are going to be on a “floating scale” and will cost between $100 to $500 for the common man in the street and will peak at $5,000 for *** and “People of Influence” .

I will now break down the elements of the title of this blog.

Let me first start with that BRIBING – The bribing will take on a new modality and will be effected though “proxies”

Traditionally it used to be the corrupt politician and his corrupt sidekick, (an oxymoron to be sure, for that is like saying a crooked lawyer) anyway that aside said, it was the polietrickian who had the money to dole out to the equally corrupt? voter during the election.

I meant to write “opportunistic” voter but I had already hit the enter button and was on this line.

That ole practice presents and issue which, during this upcoming election, is best represented by the word ”distancing”

These corrupt politicians, mindful of the intense scrutiny that will be occurring this time around, DO NOT WANT TO BE SEEN, read caught by the many smart phones and voice recording devices that are going to be out there on the day of the Election.

So, through their “proxies”, these teifing Politicians, read the Democratic Lying Party, (A Hypothetical Political Party in Barbados) will be using intermediaries and actively practicing “plausible deniability” should any of their agents get caught.

Let the ole man explain how this will work in practice.

Say Stinkliar (a hypothetical politician) is losing in St. Michael West Central (AS HE WILL) he will feel that if he sends a few $500 packages to the people who have not voted, it will change the outcome of the Election and he will regain his seat.

(BUT WUNNA DUN KNOW DAT “NOT ONE EFFING SEAT FOR THE DLP” is going to be the order of the day)

But let us say that Stinkliar will still want to keep the various perks (i) travel 1st class (ii) be responsible for all FDI in the island and (iii) his government issued vehicle, a hypothetical Audi Q0.007 (I wonder if I got the decimal point correct?).

Now suppose that (a) Stinkliar cant walk too far given a hypothetical “condition” he has and (b) it would not be wise for him to be caught bribing his electorate, there will be a need for “proxies” or “money menses” in between (not to be confused with inbetweeners)

It is going to be be very easy to identify the money menses by

(a) *** de ole man ent sharing that bit of information because I ent get paid yet for dese services I am providing here for free heheheheheheheh

(b) ***** and

(c) all de vehicles dat going be around him and de security to protect de money.

Needless to say dese money men going be seeking pokkerts so wherever they are dere will be a bevy of young tings, so observers can be assured dat de proxies will also be there.

Now ammmmmm a smart Attorney General would also ****** but given that Nitwit (this is a hypothetical name used for the purpose of this blog) is also going to lost his seat that will be a moot exercise.

The counter that Mugabe (also a hypothetical character) should employ is *** but since dem ent pay de ole man nuffing YET i ent saying dat neider

Disruption of the Proxies can be effected via 3 means which de ole man will not share becausing dem ent pay de ole man nuffing YET

2.Other Issues that will be employed in this Upcoming Election will be ID falsification

3.Inserting “Final Voters” lists late in the exercise so that the opposition does not get time to ground-truth the names on those lists

4.Purposely Allocating Constituencies for Permitted Voting to further confuse who is allowed to vote where at the 11th hour

5.Purposed Spoiling of Opposing Vote Ballots and

6.Large Scale Ballot Substitutions read ballot box irregularities

This hypothetical Blog is submitted so that academics among you would be able to comment on the subject matter and does not seek to impugn any characters, political parties, their supporters, funding factions, Electoral Agencies or others e.g. Paling Cocks or Chickens

It should make for some interesting discussion and is not meant to detract from the much more important US Elections heheheheheheh

PS. “

Nobody in this blog, and no institution or corporation is based upon an actual person or outfit on Earth, Mars maybe but not Earth. De Ole Man wants wunna to know that any resemblace to persons or institutions living dead and more than likely “the walking dead” is purely coincidental or a figment of your fertile imaginations”

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92 Comments on “Bribes, Teifing and Corruption – Barbados’ Next General Election?”

  1. David November 6, 2016 at 1:22 PM #

    @Walter

    You have a formidable team at you back if not unenviable.

    Like

  2. Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right - INRI November 6, 2016 at 1:48 PM #

    hahahahahahahaaha

    Walter Walter Walter….

    If only you had not joined with the “Deplorable” who Lie Pitifully it would have been a pleasure to create some Stoopid Cartoons for you.

    Look how easily you have insulted the three of those nitwits with such verbal aplomb yet then, dimwitted as they are will see your submission and think? (if that is what amoebas do) “Walter mentioned our name(s) therefore we are worthy”

    Half a league half a league half a league onward, into the valley of …

    Sen them on Walter to the Gatling guns and whompas and, as all wise commanders do, put a few well placed shots in their backs to whittle down the chances of you being killed by friendly fire. heheheheeheh

    Like

  3. Walter Blackman November 6, 2016 at 2:09 PM #

    David November 6, 2016 at 1:22 PM #
    “@Walter

    You have a formidable team at you back if not unenviable.”

    David,
    An excellent, well-pitched, deceptively “flighted” googly from Bishoo on BU!

    You really meant to say that, behind my back, formidable words have been used by all and sundry to describe the intellectual acuity of my team- hard-headed, possessing “hignorance” that knows no bounds, stupid, yardfowlish ……the unenviable list goes on.

    In playing this ball, I have to make sure that there is not the slightest glimmer of light between bat and pad. LOL.

    Like

  4. David November 6, 2016 at 2:15 PM #

    @Walter

    A man of your acuity will concede that with the best technique in the world a la Gordon Greenidge one is bested sometimes by environmental factors over which you have no control…LoL.

    Like

  5. Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right - INRI November 6, 2016 at 2:28 PM #

    But Walter you is a boss though

    Looka dat one “…..burning and painful “ace in the hole…..”

    This is the Superlative Subliminal….!!!

    This is higher that Bush Tea or THe Sage Annunaki!!

    Replace your

    “…burning and painful “ace in the hole” WITH

    “…burning and painful “a(ss) ** *** hole…”

    Perfect matchup!!

    Three letters for the ace, the metre is perfectly matched, the part of the body is correct, wow de ole man doffs my Kangol Hat to you

    You are really wasting your time among those DLP doufuses doah

    Steupseeeeee

    Like

  6. Walter Blackman November 6, 2016 at 2:58 PM #

    Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right – INRI November 6, 2016 at 1:48 PM #
    “If only you had not joined with the “Deplorable” who Lie Pitifully it would have been a pleasure to create some Stoopid Cartoons for you.”

    Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right,
    Karl Broodhagen taught me art at Combermere for 3 years. The highest comment my artwork (if you can call it that) ever evoked from him was “weak”.

    However, today, I fancy myself to be an art critic, albeit of dubious renown and seriousness.

    Your cartoons remind me of paintings from the Middle Ages – flat, lifeless, monotonous, repetitive, and boring. Furthermore, I surveyed the thousands of people who viewed your “stoopid” cartons, and 99% of them (do you know how to lie with statistics?) said bluntly that the theme of “Not one effing seat” succeeded only in portraying you as a BLP pimp. You need to do something about that image which you have cultivated and crafted through your persistent ignorance.

    On the other hand, the cartoons of Sunshine Sunny Shine exude and conjure up images of liveliness, vitality, creativity, and effervescence reminiscent of the renaissance era. I would like her to have the pleasure of creating a positive cartoon for me. After you are no longer in the departure lounge, I will summon the courage and beg her.

    You, your grandson, and sister Headley can now feel free to collect your Gatling guns and “whompas” and rush to become victims of the PPK.

    Like

  7. Walter Blackman November 6, 2016 at 3:10 PM #

    David November 6, 2016 at 2:15 PM #
    “@Walter
    A man of your acuity will concede that with the best technique in the world a la Gordon Greenidge one is bested sometimes by environmental factors over which you have no control…LoL.”

    David,
    Despite my show of bravado, I must concede that you are correct. It is possible that I could be batting on a sticky wicket which was prepared “in the dark” by others. The next ball I face might very well be my last. LOL

    Like

  8. Walter Blackman November 6, 2016 at 3:15 PM #

    Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right – INRI November 6, 2016 at 2:28 PM #
    “Three letters for the ace, the metre is perfectly matched, the part of the body is correct, wow de ole man doffs my Kangol Hat to you”

    Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right,
    As the Bajans would say: “If you think you’re going to make me lose one of my team members, you lie.” LOL.

    Like

  9. Hants November 6, 2016 at 3:37 PM #

    Walter Blackman November 6, 2016 at 2:58 PM # wrote ” Your cartoons remind me of paintings from the Middle Ages – flat, lifeless, monotonous, repetitive, and boring. ”

    ” the cartoons of Sunshine Sunny Shine exude and conjure up images of liveliness, vitality, creativity, and effervescence”……… I will summon the courage and beg her.”

    @ Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right will you hook these beamers or let them hit you in the head. lol

    Like

  10. Anonymouse - TheGazer November 6, 2016 at 3:59 PM #

    @Walter
    A lesser man on examining the composition of his team would have sounded the retreat and headed for the hills, but being full of courage and enthusiasm you have urged them on to the b̶a̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ slaughter.

    You make me long for the quiet Sundays in Barbados where I could take a good long hard drink with a friend; after all, you must have been drinking when you stated “but over time he has blossomed into a scholarly, potent, burning and painful “ace in the hole”.

    Just show Walter the corner where Dompey passed.

    Like

  11. Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right - INRI November 6, 2016 at 4:03 PM #

    Doan mind Walter…

    He is pleased as punch to have been thusly complimented

    I have told him and AC before that they do not know the old man’s achilles heel so….

    He has used the perceived opening to do what any person who has suffered at the hands of the Stoopid Cartoons would do and strike out.

    Walter does not understand the ole man, not in the least…

    This is the thing about insults and derogatory statements that de ole man uses.

    While mine is to ensure that these visionless fellows DO NOT EVER GET BACK IN THE HOUSE OF ASSEMBLY Walter, cognisant of that reality, sees himself a victim of that assault, and promise.

    His is not an acceptance that the DLP have raped this country and brought us to our knees

    His is a focus on being in the fold among the Decrepit and Lazy and Piss Poor and unfortunately Hants he sees me, more than any of his other detractors here as being the Albatross of his Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.

    It is not that I love the man less, in the fraternal way, but that i love Barbados more.

    Walter and I play on a different board and he engaged and lost the game AS WILL THEY ALL LOOSE THE Parliamentary Representatives seats.

    But I shall leave him alone to nurse his wounds distressed that his “Walter Blackman is Back” Blog was scuttled so totally and effectively.

    I shall however see if his “wishful thinking” that the Democratic Labour Party Electoral Committee will accede to his wishes and apportion him a seat heheheheheheheheh.

    Note carefully how kindly I treat him here in this my response.

    The man is down and out and to hit him now would be a mutilation of his corpse.

    But like some spasm of a corpse in death behold he hath “surveyed” thousands of the viewers of the Stoopid Posters who hath shared with him that my posts succeded in portraying me as a BLP PIMP hahahahahaha.

    Before I go Walter let us place the PIMP Challenge on the table.

    Tell de ole man what you willing to wager If wunna get 10 seats, nary 5 seats heheheheheheh

    But I bid you short adieu for I must go and post an item for a colleague elsewhere…..

    Like

  12. Walter Blackman November 6, 2016 at 4:53 PM #

    Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right – INRI November 6, 2016 at 4:03 PM #
    “Walter and I play on a different board and he engaged and lost the game….”

    Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right,
    So, the way you see it, I lost to you. You then turned around and lost to Dompey. To my mind, a better person could not have beaten you. Based on your version of events, the conclusion that can be drawn is that the losers fell at the feet of their intellectual superiors.

    No hard feelings. LOL.

    Like

  13. Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right - INRI November 6, 2016 at 5:04 PM #

    Ok now that we have put that duppy to rest a third time let de ole man return to de elections statistics.

    For this exercise I shall focus on three constituencies which were close (2013 voter results)

    Santia Bradshaw (Tannis), Steve Blackett (Holder) and Trevor Prescod (Best)

    While one could spend a lot of time speaking to the issue of Voter Apathy and its genesis and ways to motivate people to vote de ole man would wist to spend some time on the aspect of the closeness of that vote and , given the VOTER APATHY QUOTIENT THAT IS UBIQUITOUS, what the incumbent party is doing and will do to shore up their numbers.

    THE VOTERS LIST.

    One of the few persons that the ole man has a healthy respect for because of their utilization of the Voter list is Mia Mottley.

    She has one of the most extensive voter lists tables for her constituency for years.

    So Mugabe knows

    (i) Who voted
    (ii) who is accustomed voting
    (iii) where they voted and some would purport
    (iv) who they voted for

    The fourth element is something that can be adduced by careful surveys and observations and inducements, the last of which de ole man shall explain to make a point

    Let us say that we have a group of 100 people and that constitutes 10 families, the voters list will tell one who amongst those families voted and one can create a sort of heat signature of what the results should be for each of the 30 constituencies

    Invariably the issue that will have the biggest sway is employment and what are the requirements of maintaining that household and those families.

    Quite simply what money is coming is for those of us who are working in the house to maintain the house.

    So not only does one need to examine the extent of the impact of unemployment but one also needs to understand that employed does not mean that your household’s expenses are being met.

    10 x 1 is the same thing as 5 x 2 so it is a serious politician who is able to know the average inputs/outputs of the homes in their constituency

    THis is the reason that the Census department and the Barbados Water Authority now has gotten fart frighten and wants to come to people’s houses to find out who in your house and dem frightening people in the poor communities to say dat it is de lay and “YOU AHS TO GIVE DEM DE INFORMATION DEM WANTS”

    Now what happens is the by the careful manipulation of “employment” opportunities around election time, the incumbent party seeks to BRIBE the populace regarding that household income with these inducements that trick stupid ingrunt bajans into believing that they getting work.

    Now the thing is this.

    If for eight frigging years you did not get any wuk and now these effers get fart frighten and now using these bribes to allocate you wuk den you would be a real BADWORD BRASSBOWL to vote for them.

    De ole man is suggesting that the proximity in the voter counts in all of these constituencies will move from 100 to 200 votes to as little as 600 votes and that the DLP will be beaten comprehensively in all of their constituencies.

    Any BLP politician only has to do the same thing as Mottley and collect and collate these statistics and effect overlays to see where the DLP has their strongholds.

    They you focus on the weak areas within those strong holds with de ole man’s message of NOT ONE EFFING SEAT since it is going to be extremely easy to ask the electorate “What have they done for you lately??”

    And the resounding answer will be NOTHING

    Like

  14. Hants November 6, 2016 at 5:20 PM #

    NOT ONE EFFING SEAT but TWENTY THREE.

    Posters from de diaspora coming soon.

    Sorry Piece Un De Rock Yeah Right but we shall see what we shall see. lol

    Like

  15. Well Well & Consequences November 6, 2016 at 6:21 PM #

    The viewership count for the 5 ways to stop voting buying cartoon has grown by nearly 500 views in 2 days to nearly 6,000 viewers. ..

    …….people are paying attention regardless, bring on the cartoons., they have more than enough time, the electorate, to adjust their mentality and control all bribing situations.

    1 Point
    5,925 Views

    We may see over 20,000 views or more by election.

    Like

  16. Alvin Cummins November 11, 2016 at 9:20 AM #

    Piece,
    It is possible to win the popular vote and not be elected. See what happen with Hillary Clinton? She got more popular votes than Donald “Hitler” Trump, but lost the election. That is their system. It is rigged.

    Like

  17. David November 11, 2016 at 9:47 AM #

    Alvin, you obviously do not understand how the Electoral College was setup to equalise the states with large populations.

    Like

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